Hedda Nausbaum

She Had to Be Joel's 

Pygmalion 

By Lynn A. Granata

Why? You may ask would a supposedly bright, articulate, and attractive young woman like Hedda Nausbaum continue to remain in an abusive relationship with a man?

At first, things weren't out of the ordinary for Joel Steinberg and Hedda Nausbaum. They appeared to be the perfect match within their own circle of friends. The two came together in 1975. Hedda met him at a party thrown by their mutual friends. Joel was a criminal defense lawyer and Hedda was a children's book publisher for Random House.

Galieto sculpting "Pymalion."

The two hit it off nicely. They moved in together into a fashionable Greenwich Village brownstone. Joel was Hedda's coach, mentor, boyfriend and therapist all rolled into one. They would go out to business meetings together, and Joel would "critique" Hedda's performance afterward. Hedda's own account of his critiquing was described as "therapeutic."

As time passed, Joel's quirks started becoming more annoying and noticeable.  Steinberg would stay out late many times and picked up some very unsavory characters for clients. There were plenty of drug dealer clients who gravitated toward Attorney Joel Steinberg. 

Free basing cocaine became a regular habit at the Steinberg/Nausbaum residence. Joel and Hedda literally took up FreebaseCoke 101. Later came BDSM. With these two interesting pass times, it was no secret that Steinberg was becoming more psychotic. Nobody more than Hedda recognized this. One winter's day in 1978, Joel punched Hedda across the face with enough force to give her a left black eye. They had been together for 3 years by this time. Despite the act, she refused to hold him accountable.  Furthermore, she failed to leave Steinberg. 

Only after Nausbaum was taken into custody and gained celebrity status did she begin revealing Joel's horrific abuse to the press. Nausbaum claimed that she tried to leave him six times, but always went back. She made allegations of him giving her a more severe beating than before she left each and every time. It's been known that abusers do get more volatile when their victim "tries" to seek refuge by leaving. The abuse escalates and many times these men who beat their girlfriends go too far and kill these women.

However, after Hedda's last unsuccessful attempt at leaving Joel failed did she realize that "she needed him more than ever." Hedda hoped that Joel could keep his promise and "sculpt her into Pygmalion."

Steinberg refused to marry Nausbaum. She didn't care though, "being in any relationship, even a bad one was better than none at all." The couple remained in a tenants in common status until 1987, when they were both taken into custody.

Between 1979-81, Steinberg and Nausbaum began getting serious about starting a family. However, after many, many attempts at trying to conceive and failing, they then started considering adopting children.

The two probably realized they were both unfit as adults, let alone parents in order to legally adopt a child. To be continued...